I though she ruined it by crying, then I realized it wasn’t a tear, it was my great aim. It turned out to be beautiful.
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
he offered to walk down from the bar this morning to my house and bring me a guinness...
how romantic. its the irish mans version of flowers
Did I show you my penis last night?
i told you the emergency thong was a good idea.
I started making my dollar bills into rings for the strippers
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
pretty sure the dicks i sucked were punishment enough
You left your underwear in a sandwich bag on my kitchen counter.
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
so dehydrated I couldn't fill the pee cup to the right line for my drug test for school. I was like sorry it was my birthday yesterday
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
Its a shame I cant put 'bomb ass head game' on my resume.
grapes are the best munchies food ever cuz like the juice explodes in my mouth and my mouth gets all relieved of dryness. and the skin of the grape is like the food. and theres so many grapes!
I'm just trying to figure out the reason why humans wear socks....
Randomize
