Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
He took a shot, then proceeded to puke into the bucket he was iceing his broken foot in
just letting you know, you took a hit of the blunt while sleeping. happy birthday
Cops said there's a crazy dude with a mask in my neighborhood. Don't get stabbed.
If he was naked that was me.
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
So he texted me two hours ago to tell me he just took two hits of acid. Now he's asking me if it's possible for a house to breathe.
Thanks for the Beyonce article. In other news, I just passed a man with the state of Florida tattooed on his face.
I told him that I wanted his dick like I wanted a jumbo hot dog. There something wrong with my priorities
That was awkward , having sex with her while her husband watched via Skype. I'm a porn star or a target. Idk
She asked me if I would fuck her with my storm trooper mask on
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
You ruined a cute cat because your lack of horniness
Sorry I called bc I needed help peeing outside
But I did it
Why were there just 3 inflatable bounce houses delivered to my house?
oh shit.
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
Randomize
