So I just almost came on my own face I had to dodge it as it was flying by...that was a first
I think id rather eat ped egg shavings.
do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
He said he had to make up a lie of why he couldnt sleep with her. It must really suck to have a sunburned dick.
You did a strip tease for the toilet.
The kid in the park, who was on a leash I might add, looked at us and yelled "stranger danger" before hiding behind his dad
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
So we reenacted men's olympic skeet shooting using roman candles and flattened beer cans. That's all
New York City is dangerous when the only bars you go to are the ones that have 'open' in front
Dude, I came home and you were passed out halfway through the front door in your Minnie Mouse outfit... with a beer still in hand
i don't remember much about your party last weekend but i remember you being so drunk you were crying in your driveway about pickles at four am
She thinks you guys are the gods of the bathroom. If she runs past you naked, give me a heads up
I figured you were on something. You're way too happy right now to be sober
Why did you have to tell me he has a hammer cock? Now I can’t stop staring at his pants.
Fucked a DJ on a jetski today... I love florriidaaa!
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