How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
There is now a Twilight themed dildo. What do YOU want for christmas??
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
found used condoms and an omlet in my uggs. I'm disgusted but not surprised.
Seriously? What part of meeting at Oktoberfest while I'm wearing a dirndl, double fisting, and making out with random guys screams "i'm girlfriend material"?!
Complete silence. Background Willy Wonka music. An empty back of Lay's BBQ chips. These are the ingredients for an extreme acid trip.
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
But first time having sex and he went down on me twice?! I'm gonna marry this guy
I'll make sure to include that in my bridesmaid toast
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
is anything happening tonight?? I'm soooo in need of a tasteful and healthy bender.
Sorry bro I thought you were kidding. If I'm actually jerking off I usually said "Just a sec getting dressed" or something
holy shit the woman im hooking up with is closer to my moms age than my own
It's my day off, I'm going to Target to check out Moms in yoga pants
I drank Dr. Pepper and instant breakfast mix together and threw up sober for the first time.
Randomize
