I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
Just walked by a group of guys calling out walks of shame with a mega phone from their front porch.
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
You take your time. Wallowing in last nights filth is the best way to get over a hangover
THE CONDOM ONLY COVERS HALF OF HIS DICK I AM IN THE BATHROOM PANICKING
The amount of guys who just came into the room to give me a high five after hooking up with him was about 5 too many.
She walked home carrying a six pack of beer and someone elses cat
SHE BETTER HAVE BROUGHT BACK MY FUCKING COUCH CUSIONS OR SHES GUNNA GET IT.
Well I'm drunk and covered in baby oil so tonights not ideal
If you've never yelled, "fuck you ray Lewis" in front of your 87 year old grandfather you haven't lived
It's twenty thirteen and the rando and I bonded over the fact that we're both stil using flip phones. Of course I fucked him in the bathroom. It was the obvious thing to do.
Dude you better come get your girl, she's sitting here eating a tub of pasta salad muttering to herself about gypsies.
The cops spotted my on my walk of shame down the boardwalk and gave me a ride home. I'm starting to make a name for myself here.
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
Party bus got out of hand. Some guy pissed himself. Later, he couldn't find his house keys, so he kicked the back door in.
I just remembered that I insisted everyone watch porn together last night.
Randomize
