Is it bad that my booty call's snoring was more interesting than the sex we had last night?
I just remembered we said the Lord's Prayer before we went out last night.
He had the Transformers symbol tattooed to his chest. We had to do it doggy style so I could laugh into my pillow instead of his face.
So fucked up. Can't tell if I'm starving or about to puke. Playing it safe and eating froot loops. Tasty in, colorful out.
I was masturbating with the shower head and someone flushed the other toilet. Pretty sure I have 3rd degree burns on my clit.
I sorta feel bad for the actual person in my fake id that got a drunk in public charge.
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
Dont act like I'm the only one that gets on a plane and picks out the one im gonna have fuck if we have time before the crash
at the time it didn't seem likely that you would ever find the cake in your underwear
Being at this stripclub only reinforces how single I am. And I was *just* becoming okay with that.
Well we get the HIV results on my birthday haha. It'll be like happy birthday kid, you have AIDS.
there's a drunk hobo under the bridge wearing a jester hat and screaming at women
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
1. Everyone on the 1st and 3rd floor heard you. 2. The 3rd floor vibrates when we have sex. 3. The 1st floor can hear the bed squeak.
You walked right into the door. Even the door guy and security guys were laughing.
Randomize
