I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
You don't understand, alcohol has become a thing of survival for me and without it I can't function as a normal human being
dude i feel like at any given point 3/5 of that family is trying to fuck you
he puked in his toast at dennys. after snoopdogg high fived him. couldn't be prouder to be his bro in law.
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
you know u lost to a carboard cut out of sammy sosa in beer pong last night.
Doing laundry, just found a knob off your stove in my pants pocket. I don't know.
She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
Missing both credit cards and just had a flashback of grinding my nuts on the terrified cab driver for amusement. i am feeling a slight hate for myself right now.
I'm wearing green eyeshadow so even if I end up totally naked I still won't get pinched.
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
i don't know if this is a cannibal joke or a sexual innuendo, and i think that's a beautiful description of our relationship.
Go have fun. I'm gonna go shower off the regret.
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
Randomize
