I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
i'm so desperate for a drink right now i looked up the recipe to make pruno
you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
it's ok. you also told me I can feel free to vomit on your blow dryer sometime.
Is it just me or did a policeman park your car last night?
Let's go get our ovaries removed together. It'll be like bonding by getting mani/pedis, but with more vicodin and less unwanted pregnancies.
After he finished he proceeded to check my boobs for breast cancer.
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
Okay. So my choices are the sleeping Guy who looks about twelve and a man that looks like he was the original sandman. Im gonna need a beer for this......
There are so many things that would come back to haunt me if I ran for President someday.
like that video of you mad stoned vomiting in the bdubs parking lot after going to a pizza buffet screaming how you needed to make room for froyo
Wat
I need to just embrace dildos and cats and call it a life.
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
Your "whiskey dick" is glorious but also terrifying
I don't just want drugs. I deserve drugs.
What the fuck were you guys talking about?
Lube wrestling.
Oh, makes sense.
Randomize
