I wonder if Barack Obama has ever been this drunk.
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
We ran out of toilet paper the last week, so we just took showers to pee
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
I feel like everyone would be happy with that as a present too. "Oh you got me pussy for Christmas?! How'd you know?!"
This is irresponsible on your part, leaving me alone in a bar.
HOW DO YOU GET TO BE A GROWN-UP AND NOT KNOW WHAT A DECADE IS!?
Well apparently I decided it was easier I piss in the trash can at waffle house than In the toilet. Would've been ok if the trash can was in the bathroom.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No it's only my right leg that feels like it's about to fall off. The left is fine.
I didn't want to but I was drunk in a Disney bathroom with her and had a weak moment.
So he just rolled you off his dick and fell on the floor?
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
My ex is having a baby and I'm over here planning my dogs birthday celebration...
When is the party?
woke up and you werent here...its ok if we're never going to speak again but my furry hand cuffs are missing and i would like them back. thanks.
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