but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
I saw an Asian dude carrying a patchwork denim purse get into a car with two rednecks at the grocery store tonight. Imagine what I could have seen if I had actually done something interesting.
dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
My vagina has become a graveyard for my brother's friendships...
I've gotten 23 condolence texts about Germany's defeat. I got 3 for our break-up. That's how much my friends don't like you.
the crazy preacher outside Willard just began a monologue that began with "when i look at a vagina." We should stop by there more often
he kept saying "mind over matter" as he fucked me
it was like watching bambi learning to walk, if bambi was 22 and a high functioning alcoholic.
Im pretty sure he just said he wants to make a baby with me, but he's pretty shitfaced, so I'm not sure if he knows who I am.
in case you blackout.. this is confirmation that yes, you were sitting spread eagle on the kitchen floor chugging pickle juice out of the jar.
I'm missing some hair, but it's cool. Breadsticks are done.
wow, you never really realize how many muscles you have in your crotch until you pull them all.
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
I know how to kill a man with nutmeg and a sword. You in?
Or nah
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
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