bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
I don't care if he's straight, his cock will be in my mouth by midnight. Like a closeted Cinderella.
I'm spoon feeding myself tequila for breakfast, should we skip class today?
you tried turning the bar into a spelling b competition last night and every time someone couldn't spell something you would make them chug.
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
Some drunk guy thought my knee scooter was the sexiest thing he's ever seen. He then proceeded to ask me about duck hunting and decoys...
i think you lost all your innocence when you were caught straddling a fence in your thong & cowboy boots by the 40 year old apartment manager
Some lady found my secret pooping bathroom at work. Do I fight her Highlander style? I made or may not be fashioning a crude sword from seat covers and toilet paper rolls.
Do it. DO IT. There can be only one.
2013: the year of legs covered in hair and pregnancy scares.
I woke up naked in this guys bed and the first thing I start saying is it's super bowl Sunday like I was yelling
I woke up on my girls floor with a pound of muenster cheese in my shirt pocket
no i'm going to the dr today, he fucking banshee-shrieked in my ear as he was coming and now i can't hear out of it
To describe how high he was he said, " I'm cocked out of my ape sandwich" so yes...that was some pretty good weed.
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