hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
ive decided theres a fine line between accepting money for sex and letting someone buy you late night taco bell and knowing that if he hadnt you wouldnt be in his bed right now
It's cold our but I feel like a very blazed penguin
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
Apparently my type is "guy whose parents had unprotected sex on Halloween". Last week was my ex's, my FWB's, and the guy I'm seeing's birthdays.
somedays, I wish the drugs you give me would convince me they were a bad idea preingestion.
where's the fun in that?
Bad news: I found out that girl you want has a boyfriend. Good news: she'll probably cheat on him with you. Better news: after seeing the way she treats him, that's the most interaction you're going to want with her anyway. Trust me.
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
I felt guilty, it was so good!
Guilty? Oh great, I give the Jewish mother-in-law of blowjobs.
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
So my booty call knows your bf. Apparently they were in jail together
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
Apparently, im the only one in the world who thinks Larry King is hot.
Randomize
