i was unaware that anal sex sometimes ends with shit on the bed.
You told my mother that her salad dressing tasted like semen.
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
He tried to cuddle with me after we hooked up and i just looked at him and said why are you still here?
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
He made me write my name on his wall in crayon so he'd be able to remember it in the morning
Shit dude that sort of wholesale destruction can't just be done at the drop of a hat
I've literally already typed in by booty call text for friday night. all I have to do now is wait for is drunk me to press send
I suggest absurd amounts of masturbation this weekend to build up the necessary calluses
Thought I was doing makeup today for a photo shoot for a short film. WRONG. Try I'm on the set for a Fucking Sci-Fi PORN.
I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
I need to pull it together. I just cried my eyes out to Master Chef Junior.
Today I learned that I have a bigger dick than Draymond Green
I need to learn how to not be a fucking liability
The thought of you trying to procreat frightenes and disgusts me!
Randomize
