Fuck. sleeping in my sisters room again I heard zombie noises outside my window
And we will make penis cookies and eat them suggestively
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
Why have they been driving around the block for the past 30 min?
He told her it was international road head day.
Besides the whole peeing blood for a week thing, it was the best sex of my life.
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
Awkward family moment #1: walked in on my 15 yr old nephew packing a bowl. Nephew says- "lets not ruin christmas and keep this our little secret"
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
You talked about giving to sperm banks on a first date. What did you expect?
I'll be there with bells on. And by "bells" I mean "jäger bombs". And by "on" I mean "being poured down my gullet".
I recently had a rabies scare because I thought putting socks on my hands to pick up a squirrel that got in my house was a good idea.
Right now, I'm sitting in my room, drinking beer, eating double stuff Oreos, taking bites straight from a block of cheese, and watching Anchor Man 2 trailers. Finals week at its finest
Man i fell asleep on a random persons porch on the way home and woke up to the family banging on the windows trying to wake me up
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
I'm sitting on the couch playing the sims, how's ur night going?
I'm sitting on my floor, drinking wine, and listening to bette midlers "wind beneath my wings"
Why are our lives so predictable?
Randomize
