If I see one more commercial for The Secret Life of the American Teenager, I'm going to punch the next teenage girl I see in the uterus and scream, "Wear a condom!"
It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
theres a boy scout troop on my plane. right now theyre playing wilderness games. let me just tell you how excited i am to hit on all of them
we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Walked by a shop giving away free donuts this morning. Best walk of shame ever
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
I'm so in the Halloween spirit, I zombified my all of my nudes on my phone. Tell me this isn't creative.
Just FYI, I'm breaking up with my boyfriend tonight and you need to be on call to be my first rebound bang
Like "oh its Monday, gotta get wasted today!" not "oh its Monday.. Gotta go to class"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can I borrow you for, like, thirty minutes so you can lay on one boob and rub the other until I fall asleep?
Dude. Cvs sells sex toys. And my discount works on them. Game on.
it's pretty awkward texting you how much I want to suck your cock when I have my mom on speakerphone.
On my way
we told the drug dealer that our car was dead and we needed a jump so he would bring the drugs to us...
He called from a stranger phone to say. He was a t a liquior store and there was a long line they have no condoms. This is the guy i was gonna go on a date with
Atleast he is letting you know he will be late
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
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