the fundamentals of my vasectemy are strong
you were going around the whole club telling people to smell ur purse
My room should be renamed "Land of the Misfit Condoms."
Is it appropriate to get drunk, stand up at the wedding and make a toast to "the time the lovely bride asked me to come on her chest"?
our generation is not ready to get married
oh my god, there is an imprint from the nuva ring in the christmas card my mom sent me. merry christmas.
She just sucked the buffalo sauce out of my beard. I've never been so disgusted and hard in my life.
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
Your maid of honor is passed out in a golf cart on the 18th hole.
I'm not proud of how I threatened that 8 year old during drunken laser tag
lit a joint with my parents wedding matches today, this is what happens when you're out of lighter fluid. didnt even feel guilty.
the parade is in 5 days. put your big boy pants on and come to beer training. time to build your tolerance. i can't have you passing out in a bush with a cape on again this year.
One my way home. There was too much fog, strobe lights, and cocaine for my taste.
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
MIDGETS
????
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
Randomize
