I either just heard my neighbors having sex or she really agreed with whatever he was talking about.
Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
Just looked at my outgoing calls. Seems I had a 7 minute convo with my 10th grade english teacher at 2:56 am Saturday...
She's the only person who can pull off turning an outdoor patio heater tower into a stripper pole.
"thanks for the sex" was written in lipstick on my bathroom mirror. i'm officially done with random hook ups.
Too lazy to get out of my bed thats 2 feet away from you. Are you sure youre alright?
He's basically wearing those Nike boner sweatpants. It's hard not to jump him. How has your day been?
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
Hows cali? I thought of you as I shaved 1/4 of my legs last night.
I convinced a German girl that I was born while my mom was water skiing and I preceded to barefoot ski behind her via the umbilical cord...
The Easter dress struggle is real
Yep. Just had to pull mine off to puke.
When we were all out of beer you took a bite out of the cardboard beer box and said "close enough."
In an unrelated matter, im gonna eat you out so much later.
He was referring to me as "Teenage Dream" the whole night
When you puked on me I said to you "we will just say that you threw some mostacholi at me"
Randomize
