oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
just saw a guy throwing up in the urinal at Dennys. Either he had one hell of last night or we are going to eat somewhere else
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
There's a 24 hour period after giving head where you can't eat penis shaped food without me laughing at you
Rather than admit to myself he's hooking up with her right now, I choose to believe that he's not responding because he's masturbating to my picture, distraught over his poor choice, and trying to forget about the one that got away with a heavy dose of meth.
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
FUCK YOU. AH. FUCK BOTH OF US MORE BOOZE.
MAS TEQUILA.
I look like one classy bitch running in heels through my backyard while carrying a small dog and a large bottle of booze. How am I still single?
Seems like you've kicked summer 2012 off well.
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
You know you need to take better care of yourself when shaving reminds you of sheep shearing...
Hey my vagina is like a company. Everyone has an equal opportunity....
He drops f bombs like every other word and he just gave me 127 shares of tmobile stock for free. I feel like I should pay him back in blow jobs or something.
I'm on the same pooping schedule as a professor I've never had. He now says what's up to me in the hallway
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
Ill try not let guys feel my boobs for free drinks next time, no promises tho. I am my boyfriends worst nightmare.
Randomize
