is it bad that I sent her a picture of my penis on her husbands birthday?
I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
Just saw a guy from Kansas and a guy from Nebraska arguing over who had less of an accent. God Bless the Midwest.
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
I seem to remember you being very disappointed that drinking Michelob Ultra didn't give you magic powers.
We're at the hospital. She got a head rush and fell and now blood everywhere. Smoke the rest, just save her a bowl
he just hooked up with some chick in a bedroom upstairs so I just went to sleep in the pantry closet...
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
When you get home...find me in the shower. Only safe place at the moment.
I never thought I would have to put a band-aid on my penis.
I'm recreating the you're a wizard harry video with a guy on snapchat whilst having snapchat sex with another... Adulting is fun
I woke up with my winter coat on, next to a polaroid of me, her and a swan...so no I don't remember our conversation.
Maybe those shots of hot dog water wasn’t a good idea after killing a fifth of tequila.. but who’s askin
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