I do no wrong. I am always right. Right? I forget why I am sending this. It seemed relevant.
Ketchup is God's man juice
i'm waiting for the less fat version of him to text me
she kept her crown on the whole time i was giving her birthday sex
Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
he prob just wants to be friends and here i am photoshopping our kids
My motherly instincts are overcoming my slutty ones
Her exstacy made her nickname everyone David. Nobody knows who the fuck she's talking to so we just say no to everything she says. She's crying.
I woke up to find that chris drank one of my contacts.
Yeah he's good at that.
It was fun, but I mean, any day that starts with shower tequila is bound to be good.
She climbed up the stairs with three brownies in one fist, two in the other, and one in her mouth. Also, she opened the bedroom door with her foot. I may be in love.
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
We talked about breaking up, had sex, and in the middle of said sex, talked more about breaking up- best sad day ever
If you're gonna show up unannounced on hangover day, you better have coffee doughnuts and a boner
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
Randomize
