when she said she would show you her other bow, she ment she wanted you to bend her over and see the tattoo on her lower back you idiot
puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
I imagine anything that isn't a dilldo attached to a jackhammer, powered by a generator won't be amazing enough for you
Sober December ended when I found beer behind my bed...I lost $2000 but spent 6 hours sober. Meet me at the bar?
Some guy is walking around the bar with his dick out. Health code violation?
Finding a keg in our kitchen would be like god personally high fiving each of us.
we're decorating our christmas cookies with birth control. so pretty.
I just conveyed my whole sex life to my mom over voicemail. Anddd, I'm hammered.
Top night. Top night.
So I'm about to drive his drunk ass home and he spits on my car. Before I can say, "Dude, what the fuck?!", he puts his finger to my lips and goes "shhh, its in the past."
Or I could hide in your trunk so you can sneak out of putt putt for sex breaks
Apparently I give handjobs in my sleep. So that's interesting.
Booty called 3 guys from my hospital bed
There is a high pitched squealing noise coming from somewhere in my house. I hope it's a gas leak cause I'm over this week man.
I left him naked in his bed. I did cover his junk with a blanket in case his roommate walked in later though. so I don't feel as bad about it.
Randomize
