Sex should be hot, sweaty, messy, and a little painful. At no point should it involve tiny rocks
he was shitfaced drunk and couldn't walk but could still recite the top 10 in order from the first season of american idol. impressive
I started making my dollar bills into rings for the strippers
it took me 20 minutes to get her upstairs... she crawled under a car and wouldn't come out.
We are going to be Siegfried and Roy for Halloween and you are going to be the tiger.
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
After I was kicked out of the last frat I blacked out, woke up in the hospital with no clothes no phone and no idea what happened last night. But i got hospital socks, thats a win in my book.
I just want to dump glitter on my floor and roll in it like a cat in catnip.
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
Dude. Woke up this morning wearing that chick's panties. 8/10, would recommend. I love tequila.
Asking me to suck on my nipples isn't going to make me less mad at you.
are you fucking roseanne barr in there?
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
So you think Jesus would be proud of me for walking of shame into my apartment 10 minutes before I told my parents I'd be over for Easter?
Randomize
