I want your puppy
I meant pussy
I would rather you take my puppy
You know, if there were no such thing as marriage, i don't think porn would exist.
Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
Balls are like the throw pillows of the penis
Tim hortons said i dont meet their criteria. What the fuck criteria is that? You put bagels in an oven.
remember last night when you and I took turns yelling THIS IS HUGE in my dogs faces? I love wine night.
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
I was trying to make tacos and friends but there was a major language barrier.
I'm still finding big obvious chunks of condom around my car.
He gave me an orgasm before we even reached 2nd base, everything he did in high school is irrelevant.
Hahaahaah I keep finding little notes you left me on my physics notes... "TOO HIGH FOR BIRDS"
You broke the end off a wine bottle, ran outside and screamed "FOR NARNIA!!"
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
Lab coat again saves the day - hiding embarrassing shart evidence...
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
Randomize
