So...we accidentally left a bag of puke in your sister's room. Heads up.
It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
Thats two for two birthdays where I've gotten the "alcoholism runs in the family" speech
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Look, all I'm sayin is $2 boilermakers and an expense account are probably a bad mix…
She climbed through the window and into my bed. Not even sure who she is. Was thinking she might be a friend of yours?
I love that my brother has just convinced my dad that smoking a blunt it an "unspoken family tradition"
his apartment was in a funeral home, walk of shamed through a visiation in the skankiest outfit i own
There's a good chance a guy sucked off my right earring last night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
BECAUSE THIS IS AMERICA AND DONUTS AND TITTIES AND ALCOHOL IS WHAT THIS COUNTRY WAS FOUNDED ON
I lost a whole day of my life. Apparemtly I was using my deodrant as a phone. And is my phone there?
Come on kid, foreplay is elementary stuff. It's a vagina, not a sphinx.
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
he's fucking insane. he's worse than me. is that even possible? I'm only with him because his dick is huge. I need Jesus.
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