i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
just saw a guy throwing up in the urinal at Dennys. Either he had one hell of last night or we are going to eat somewhere else
just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
So i told him he was the 3rd i have ever slept with and then i found out he had actually slept with 5 other girls besides me. And his reply was well your number one on this hand.
When I woke up I had three missed calls from the name 'dream krystals'.... If I remember correctly she was the lady at the drive thru at Krystals and her name was Dream.. She wanted to come to the strip club with us... Do you remember?
what's the name of the guy at the bank you blew to get the lower interest rate?
um. wrong number, but good luck with your loan
She was mid-sentence and then BOOM the hammock broke off the tree. I about pissed myself. Hot Sprite and Vodka make the world go round.
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
Well... first you killed the girls goldfish, then you shoved her face in your armpit, made her cry, got kicked out, ate your cigarettes, and passed out in her driveway. Pretty successful night if you ask me
You're obviously not trying hard enough. GET LAID. Kittens die for less.
Touche salesman.
Hey, ok if I kidnap you? I wanna test a theory.
Once again I am on the toilet and refuse to get up
What a great time to reflect on life
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
My vagina is glad I'm back at work because it needs a vacation after working all through my vacation.
Just had to stop myself from doing a bump on the Disney bus. The struggle is real.
Randomize
