If I had a nickel for every time my parents threatened to stop paying tuition I would be a very rich man. Rich enough to pay my own tuition.
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
I just found a babydoll head in my sink where we ripped it off and did shots out of it.
Best part: she drunkenly told me I'm dangerous then slurred to my parents that I should watch out in case I fall in love with her. Then she mounted a pinata
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You're doing that 'overestimating how much I care' thing again.
Hey since its national brother week is that eiffel tower option with your girlfriend still on the table?
i woke up to banging and pieces of ceiling falling on my face
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
He saw one of my bras on the floor and said "damn you could eat soup out of this"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've finally done it, I've downloaded some messenger lesbians like to use because some girl wanted to flirt.
Congrats, you're all grown up now.
I FEEL LIKE A GAY BUTTERFLY
She said she wanted you to slurp her vagina like a spaghetti noodle.
Someone needs to lock me in a chastity belt because all my vagina does is get me into trouble. Fuck.
I'm drunk and he's still weird.
You just kept mumbling about the carpet being covered in stains that looked like the face of God. Until you decided that they were closer in relation to Dumbledore.
so horny i almost want to text him..and then i remember the restraining order i have against him
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