he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
Hemmingway ran to paris to avoid going to the university of illinois and becoming a doctor. It was there he developed a drinking problem. I need a plane ticket.
there's nothing like the elf drinking game to get me in the christmas spirit.
I have your car and your sandals. My shoes are somewhere under the puke couch. Safari time.
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
OMG OMG OMG DID YOU KNOW THERE ARE MINI CHOCOLATE COWBOY HATS THAT MEN CAN BUY FOR THEIR PENISES?
Also I've decided that I'm buying the next friend of mine who is dumb enough to get married a live porcupine as a wedding present.
We could have casual sex if you want. But I can't offer a bromance to a woman.
Watching boy meets world, drinking left over pink panty droppers and coloring in a my little pony coloring book. This is my Monday night
I see your boobs were ready to greet the new year.
I may have unintentionally punched your cat twice but he's an asshole anyway.
And thank god for autocorrect cuz I can't even think in English let alone spell in it right now.
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
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