bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
i have a new found respect for you. the amount of people you must have cockblocked last night is amazing
just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
Shaun got a portable breathalyzer for christmas so now we can tell who the biggest pussy is at the end of the night.
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
Find a vagina and bring it to me. Like feeding a tiger.
Just remember, Dont make worse choices than american flag pants to your own birthday party
I made that picture of you my lock screen. So I've just been standing around at work licking my phone all day.
My mom just offered to be my designated driver tonight. I love being an adult.
He was tripping his balls off and kept aggressively saying SIT ON MY FACE. 5 hours and countless orgasms later I've decided I must never let this man go.
got a free grilled cheese. Didn't even have to talk about Jesus
Does anyone remember last night? Because I still don't know why I now own a goldfish and a ceiling fan made of pizza?
just drove past - why are you walking towards the shop in your pyjamas?
Can't talk, on a quest for bacon.
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