did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
i wish the dell website had a "did you drink an entire bottle of rum and stepped on your laptop which shattered the screen this weekend and would like to know how to fix it without your parents finding out FAST?" link on their homepage.. i can't be the only one
Just mixed vicodin and mucinex. This cold just got fun.
Well you really should've thought of that before you painted your walls the same color as your toilet
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
Why do they give me cups on $8 pitcher night? I HAVE A PITCHER.
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
I was going to ask the people in the kitchen to keep the volume down, but they're cooking pasta at 3 AM and one complimented me on my polka-dot nightgown. They're high. No volume control.
I just had the best counseling appointment lets fucking rage
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
Today is an "outside sex" kind of day.
I forgot what I was gonna say, but I'm pretty excited to not be pregnant.
I am talking to a naked lesbian about robots. I think this means I win life.
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
Randomize
