Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
Why do my orgasm prompt her to begin using babytalk EVERYTIME?!
This is the time you want your cat to have telepathy with you. To know if the guy downstairs left.
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
Idk man I'm just a giant talking marshmallow ready to be toasted and dipped in chocolate
I hooked up with some guy to get over my ex last night. I was terrified until we started doing naked pushups.
You took it upon yourself to rid the world of them, and by that I mean you dressed up as Batman and started kicking them in the shins.
Im about to get a baby alligator stoned, what are you doing with your life?
She was a little hefty, so I turned on the strobe light in our room. Everything looks better with a strobe light.
Last night you found an onion ring in your fries and then you started singing "A Moment like this"
Are you on your way? Get your date and black out with me. Democracy's at stake.
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
I just changed all my morning alarms to wake me up with different Jesse McCartney songs telling me I'm beautiful. Would you believe I'll be 25 this year?
His 89 y/o father walked in on us. Judging by the gasp/moan, I don't think the 1920s prepared him to see another dude inside his son.
Julius Caesar had a huge penis
WTF are you reading?
Ha ha! No, the guy in the Caesar costume last night. We hooked up. His dick was huge
Randomize
