Having your wife answer your cell was so lame. Maybe we can talk when you get your phone, your facebook account, and your balls back.
I think I gave almost everyone at that party the clap last night
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
She looked at it and said "your dick is like the golden gate bridge."
I mean, once you get beat with a dildo you can't look at someone the same
It's like I opened a door and behind it lay mythical creatures sprinklin fairy dust upon the land leading me to a pot of gold. And that gold is some delicious cock.
My new year's resolution was to squirt this year. I only have four months left. Help.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
they told me if I wanted to live here I had to get an ass tattoo and then they all mooned me simultaneously. ass tattoos as far as the eye could see.
She said I'm going to get you stoned and have you fuck me on the couch.
I'm pretty sure i doubled the number of dicks I've ever touched, last night.
Pillow talk?
can't do it. no eye contact either.
Where have you been all my life
The neighbors ahemed the WHOLE time. Their kids are the ones that scream loud enough for me to remember my birth control. It's payback!
I need you to know I’m weirdly very sexually attracted to Charlie Puth now
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