At the Phils game. My gay buddy just wanted up to a bunch of Mets fans and said "I'm gay, and even I think Mets fans are a bunch of fags." I love this fuckin town.
does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
Well he's not a stripper, so we're already doing better than my last date.
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
one of my coworkers wanted to look something up on YouTube on my tablet. I didn't know how to explain why my most recent search was "girl fucks dog."
I may have tried to encourage people to play a new game I invented last night. I called it Super Quarters. Like regular quarters, only using an AA medallion.
The party invite said "this ain't no lame stoplight party, you come to hookup or you don't come" I feel like their honesty deserves out attendance
Not to mention having our pick at the ensuing sausagefest
I have to stop letting him stay all weekend. I feel like a cored apple.
I have enough bourbon in me to put Justin's cat in the dishwasher.
My night ended with a French cab driver offering me his sperm free of cost.
We'll just play naked Twister, the rest will take care of itself
I know that whole thing was awkward. Not worth the piece of cake.
Social anxiety problems: I just had to get up and change stalls mid-poop because someone sat down in the one next to mine.
Last night was fun. Sorry I slipped out before you woke up
Also, your parents get up REALLY early. Please thank them for the bagel and travel mug of coffee. Happy Thanksgiving!
Randomize
