just come out here and I will go home with you...
Thursdays are my worst days
but now we sippin champagne when we thirstay?
I think the world might be a better place if everyone was capable of having open relationships.
i had to apologize to my friends for being friends with me
Stoned ambition #8. Must learn sign language.
I think I just agreed to be an escort for an Asian guy who's gonna be in the city next weekend before he moves back to Shanghai...
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
I keep replaying commercials about kittens frolicking and was crying nonstop. WILL MY PERIOD LAST FOREVER!?
Dude you made a rodeo shot in beer pong won the game then got in the hot tub poured beer all over the side and screamed "hot tub time machine!"...
This hangover makes more sense now
A bee came out of the shoe box and stung her. Even the insect community doesn't want her in those hideous things.
I have seriously seen way too may DIY cut off jean booty shorts and half shirts on fat girls this summer. Fuck you Pinterest.
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
Just because your gf gives mediocre bjs doesn't mean I can fill that void
what the fuck happend anyway? How did it go from smoothies after work to blacking out?
Me and my dad hot boxed a hotel bathroom... That's what I call father son bonding
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