im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
It only happened twice. Once we used extra virgin olive oil and once I used saliva and brute force.
and thats when we got a drunken mammogram in the middle of cvs pharmacy
Do you remember anything yesterday that led to needing a cup of couscous in my closet?
The barista asked if I wanted my drink wet or dry, but all that came to mind was farts. You have ruined me.
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
My boss walked in on me puking in the urinal while taking a piss. Sunday funday is eroding my last shred of credibility at work.
At this point if I didn't go to work hungover I think the whole place would think something is wrong
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
i need to stop meeting underage girls and letting them into the bar. i mean yea its a surefire way to get laid without having to tell them I'm 26 but i feel like as a bouncer I'm focusing on all the wrong things
My dad just saw me take dirty one night stand underwear out of my purse. I'm willing to admit I have a problem
I just had to explain to a 5 year old why I had fuzzy handcuffs hidden in a macaroni box under my bed.
He literally just patted me on the vagina and said goodnight to it.
The night they met I slept with both of them. Of course I'm best man.
I thought it turned out lovely. You got to see me almost naked and I got to be stoned to the point I was content with
Wtf when were you almost naked??
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