I left the party when things started to get crazy... and when I say crazy I mean: there was puke on the carpet, Evan was passed out behind a plant, Mary was making out with her ex while her present bf was making out with Nancy. Not to mention that someone fisted the wall. Also - someone is sleeping on your lawn - they might be dead, I didn't check. Later.
It took him longer to undo my bra than he lasted..
Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
i came out of my blackout when my grandma called last night. it kinda sobered me up and i realized who i had been making out with. should i call and thank her for the defensive cockblock?
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
Mom just posted ur drunk pix from Cancun in the newly made "My not-so-fantastic son" album. Thought you should know.
Her idea of kinky involved a tazer
wtf?
I'm going back tonight
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
Friend as in 'I used to have sex with her' or friend as in 'I still want to have sex with her'?
I went to her house she had a kid pool in her living room watching the vacation channel drinking rum out of the bottle saying" life is what you make it. Mines a vacation!!!"
Well I smoked some weird shit and I think I peed on my phone.
Also, I'm kinda hungover this morning and I need to wire money to my lawyer. So this is what adulthood feels like
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
What do you expect from her? Do you remember that creepy man she dated who saturated a pillowcase in his musky cologne and mailed it to her and she still slept with him.
Randomize
