hey, we don't wanna leave the house because we're watching fireworks on tv. this is america.
I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
He was sitting cross legged outside his tent repeatedly hitting the ground with a hammer and shouting 'this.is.a.good.idea.'
He is passed out on the kitchen floor. He will fight you if you disturb him. Just a warning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
Gonna send a picture of my negative pregnancy test with the message "Merry Christmas" to the guys I've been sleeping with. That alone, will put a huge dent in my shopping list of gifts for people.
I thought my period ended but I felt it again as soon as Pitbull started playing
It's like we're in an emotionally distant three-way and there's not even sex to show for it.
AND I woke up to eggs in my bra. Thanks Taco Cabana...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Okay penises are actually pretty exciting. The people attached to them are an entirely different story
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
I just set my mike's hard down and didn't want it to spill, so I held my finger up and told it to shoosh. I'm drunk.
Life update: This fucking MacBook repair guy called me over last night for a booty call and he didn’t have a condom OR a bed
you tried to fight the cop who was busting the party, you said you had a constitutional right to do a keg stand...
I need dick so bad, I’m dressing sexy for the school pick up line and sports practices to entice a few of the DILFs
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