I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
Im listening to a jazz version of dick in a box.
And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
ATMs should seriously have built in breathalysers, I would save so much money.
Jesus just hopped over the fence with a rack of coors. How's your Halloween?
Their engagement party consisted of them doing shots, yelling at each other, leaving for 30 minutes, and coming back with smiles.
I'd say they're off to a great start!
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
He wanted to have sex in a church because he has keys to it from court-ordered community service. WHAT IS STANDARDS?
But once you explained how to fill cupcakes with semen I realize you were harmless and right on my level.
I'm gonna try Jim's breakup remedy this weekend.
Is that the one where you drink 3 cases of beer and rewatch as much WWE RAW as you can find? Or the one where you hookup with fatties on Craigslist?
The night went downhill when he took his pants off at our table and walked up to women saying "Special delivery"
So now I can cross "have my ass be someone's phone background" off the bucket list. You know, if it was something I actually had wanted to happen.
i now know why i keep getting pictures of poop. apparently someone put my number in a girls bathroom saying i am a poop lover.
you text any of them back? this is probably the most women you'll ever have texting you in your life. don't squander a good thing
Fun fact. A penis can be used to catapult cheetos.
i woke up half naked on someone's pool lounge chair in a house that i don't know, with someone's phone number scrawled on my stomach. why do i hang out with you again??
You just listed two reasons.
Randomize
