Will you blow on my dice?
Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
i feel like i'm waiting in line to date brett michaels
How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my cat ate my toast this morning while i was getting dressed. i can already tell today is going to suck.
nothing like walking down the street with a garbage bag of puke trying to find a dumpster
I just realized that my phone was set to Brazilian time...what the fuck happened last night
I woke him up this morning and said I have a meeting w my advisor in an hour you need to wake up, cum on my face, and take me to my car.
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What's the most polite way to say "Congrats on losing weight, but no one is happy your boobs got smaller."
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
The condom broke. Its OK tho, turns out I was just humping her thigh for 20 minutes. Jager dude, Jager.
The fact that you think I have a life is so flattering to me.
If I get one more "oh yaaaaa he changed your oil" texts, I'm gonna lose my shit
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
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