I hate your face
perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
He waited til after we had sex to tell me he had herpes... Ugh I hate being drunk
thinking back, the fact that our bartender was missing a finger shouldve been hint number one not to let him pick our drinks
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
I gotta shower this stuff off me I'm starting to hear baby kittens in the toilet tank again..
I found someone's tooth on the stairs when I was vacuuming, and my sister found a catheter in the men's bathroom... this cleaning job is dangerous
You were convinced you would hurt my car if you opened the door. Then you barfed in the pretzle bucket Peter gave you
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
well some coke just fell out of my nose in my partners meeting so i'd say my day's off to a fantastic start
I'll just go on tinder. Seeking strong male to help take apart ikea furniture and move. I'll touch your dick.
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
I wanna get to the point where I can just send a question mark and get an exclamation point in response
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