Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
I want to get laid tonight but my sheets haven't been washed since vomiting in them on Halloween :(
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
Yeaaah, so cabbie laughed at me, and said, "rough nite? Let me find you some music" . apparently OPP is the appropriate ride of shame soundtrack.
He told me that a camel appeared out of nowhere and it told him to quit smoking...
I'm gonna have to fantasize about her dying just to get off.
If he tries to stick his thumb up my butt again im going to rip his dick off with my vagina
I told you those kegels would come in handy one day
Bro, she said my penis was the best thing to happen to her mouth since teeth.
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
I just threw up vodka and hot dogs in a handicapped stall with someone in it who couldn't make me leave because he couldn't walk.
I do NOT want to date a man who has no interest in going to a kangaroo farm
You asked for 4 things: your phone, your wallet, your keys and your denture. I stopped asking questions.
tell your brother to quit sending me his dick pics what am i going to do with them print them out and shove them up my ass???
chipped my right front tooth on a toilette. i figure if i keep drinking i won't care for at least 2 days
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