Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
His text read: Sex? I replied: Not drunk enough. He bought 4 more rounds and tantalized me with the offer pizza later. This could be the beginning of a beautiful relationship.
this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
I woke up on the steps beside a plate of spaghetti and a toilet paper roll ripped in half. And i actually think this day is gonna get better.
i knew it was time to break up with him once he pulled out the Halo foreplay costumes
Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge
PS- I just ordered a two man zebra costume. Would you like to be my back end?
Already at the river; already getting fucked up. And yes that semicolon is legit because those are congruent statemests
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
This mustache is awesome. I can't pass by a mirror without looking in it and thinking damn, I'd like to give that guy a handy.
However, you did manage to order seven different drinks while fingering her at the packed bar - it was like watching the pizza men pound the dough in the windows
The first thing you did was give us a tour of the house and showed us who was "on-limits" and "off-limits"
Randomize
