your ex dropped by. you can call me dwight howard, cuz im the king of rebounds
No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
I can't believe im sexting my roommate. This is really what my life has come to
What the fuck am I going to do with a pinata full of tampons?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dipping doritos in ranch. Why doesn't he love me?
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
At what point does "I'm too high to deal with you right now" stop being rude?
That man gives me hope. I can't help it. And by "hope" I mean "wood."
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When my mom found out he was a high school drop out she was like "seriously? Can we raise the bar a little higher next time kels?" So my moms pretty cool
Was so close to hoppin on it but then I realize it's not a dick and I needed to keep walking. Primal instincts.
I'm in a corner eating carrots and drinking champagne. I've hit a new kind of low.
How is that low? I love carrots.
he came over last night and we fucked with the great british baking show on in the background. it was beautiful
Is talking to an iron man poster a good or bad indicator that you've been drinking too much?
Slept with a member of the band last night, found out today after extensive stalking he’s engaged. Pro tip: don’t research one night stands.
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