some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
We were just about to get down to business and shes like oh the olympics! and jumped up and turned on the tv. cockblocked by freestyle skiing. seriously?
Who won mens moguls?
That canadian guy... bilodeau... but you're missing the point, dude.
Dude someone is playing the piano in the other room while I shit and it's making it really peaceful
I just found ouut you can get a DUI in a kayak. Fuck.
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
im still trying to figure out who put the honey mustard in the blender then put the entire blender into the freezer
I dont think a "sorry ive slept with most of your teammates" text will do much
I cooked you Mac and cheese when I was drunk and drugged. That counts for about 4 meals. Try harder
I say we go and bring jello shots with laxatives. 57% sure one of his toilets is broken
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
I had to have the guy I went out with last night come pick me up from the hotel the next morning after I ditched him for a firefighter..don't even talk to me about a walk of shame
Well we're either getting a bunny or I'm getting you pregnant in about 12 days.
I just found a To Do list on the table, written by me last night, that just says "1. Go downstairs. 2. Get Pickles. 3. Laptop"
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
Apparently walking into a national conference and proclaiming "i'm here to fuck shit up" is frowned upon.
Who knew?
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