It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
Literally he has the smallest penis I've ever felt since 8th grade.
I need a hobby that doesnt involve alcohol and my tv
I am trying to figure out how to tell this kid i have a boyfriend in a way that still allows me to smoke free weed
We left the window open. My vibrators funeral is at 2ish.....bring a side dish or some shit.
Definitely just said "no homo" to our gay waiter at Cheesecake Factory...our service has steadily declined since.
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
Under no circumstances is it ok to do naked cartwheels in front of anyone. i don't care how much ecstasy you took
Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face.
who's idea was it to start the NCAA tournament less than a week after St. Patrick's day? My liver needs time to recover for things like this.
Let the record show that the first hour of my twenty-first was spent shooting tequila ans discussing the emotional integrity of werewolves.
A stranger came up to me, pointed at my drink and asked what it tasted like and proceeded to chug half of it and then walked away.
Definitely the only person to buy 2 handles a 2 bottles of champagne & 3 thirties while wearing a fanny pack
Do it!! We better have a duck by the time I get home.
christmas shopping: 3 hours in the liquor store...
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