We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
I mean he's a cool ass guy, but he's genuinely in love with a fat chick. I just can't take him seriously as a person.
We had sex after spending two hours in the drunk tank. It was really deep and meaningful
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
He hasn't touched a vagina in two and a half years. THIS IS WAY TOO MUCH PRESSURE TO BE UNDER
Sometimes you have a glimmer of a heart and then I immediately remember you are dead inside.
Are you ok?
They gave me a cat until I fall asleep. His name is fluffy because he's fluffy.
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
I called you last night? What did I say??
That you love me forever and that I'm the greatest in the world now mohammed ali is dead...
You were dancing to the Bee Gees, at 3am, with a piece of ham on your head. Moral of the story, You can't drink.
Aka I'm headed to the liquor store because I don't know how to handle my emotions.
You "drove" the computer chair around the party for a good fifteen minutes. you would crash into things, freak out, and yell for an ambulance.
Randomize
