omg this kid i'm babysitting is making a penis out of playdough ahhhh.
He just rolled me a 'baby penis' as opposed to his 'big boy' penis that he crafted...he just demanded that I roll him a penis.
cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
I called him Han Solo during sex, he looked at me like he was mortified then I realized he came.
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
The frequency that you give me blue balls couldn't be healthy.
about 90% sure I fell off a roof. It hurts BAD. Don't suppose you're still in town?
yup haha I infact DID fall off a roof. Want some bomb ass omlettes?
Someone woke me up and gave me a sprite and some pills. I put them in my belly button. Trust no one.
I was up all night on suicide watch. Dave was wasted and tried to strangle himself. With his own hands.
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
I mean, how am I going to build a relationship on trust if he finds out I roofied him?
Today is going to be a great day. He just brought me a donut on his dick... It's Sticky Dick Donut Day!!!
I refuse to fake an orgasm. If I'm dating him, he better work for that shit.
So were driving two hours to go to a club and Charles packed me a sippy cup full of tequila. He thinks of everything!
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
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