Why does Corona taste like a burp?
You should be grateful to be my roommate. My booty calls always drive you places in the morning.
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
I know how to say Yes, No, and Your Mother's Vagina. So almost fluent.
I'm laying in bed listening to Purple Rain on repeat. If you wanna bone, come up, but if not, at least Prince understands me.
Also the fuck cup must be buried with me
Thats not real though. Slash there are other extenuating circumstances to lead me to believe dick is wanted
HOLY FUCK I SPELLED EXTENUATING RIGHT ON THE FIRST TRY. IM THE BEST DRUNK NA
That would be a mascot riding an ATV at a semi-professional hockey game, if that doesn't sum up how I've been I don't know what could
just sex-dialed 911. that's 34 seconds of dignity i will never get back.
But that's fine. Because I am an independent woman who is going to pull some jane Goodall shit and save the world one day......or be a porn star......either way they are going to wish they had fucked me.
my vag sweat smells like doritos
so now that we're not dating you have to stop sending shit like this to me okay?
If you fall asleep, my vagina and I will never forgive you.
Oh like it's the first time I've had a bowl of wine
They kept freaking out that you were missing and potentially having sex.. like it was a bad thing. Got fed up with hearing it so i just yelled "ITS HER BIRTHDAY AND SHE CAN FUCK IF SHE WANTS TO!" They gave me unnecessary looks. I thought it was acceptable.
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
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