as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
I can't go out tonight I need to save my money for important things.....like rogaine and ecstasy.
i just sold a bong and some oregano to fifth graders for sixty dollars. doing something tonight?
Thats the worst face I've ever seen you make an I've seen you throw up in your own hair.
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
I was in the library and saw 2 dudes hackysacking in a study room with 3 girls working. I asked if I could join; as soon as I closed the door the chicks offered me tequila shots. study session w/everyone cancelled, I'm busy.
He practically cut off his thumb and she offered him a tampon to stop the bleeding
I'm now drinking beer through a straw. By order of the bartender.
And all you did was hit on me and do things "for America", so you weren't judged heavily
She is dumping me if she doesn't get a ring by Valentines. So one more month of free sex and it will be back to the right hand.
Is it weird that I only look up my ex on Twitter when I take a shit? May have conditioned myself to associate him with shit
New rule: if you don't think racism exists, you don't get to put your penis inside me.
Just remember: We don't tell our English professor about our fetishes unless she specifically asks about them.
This lady is talking to me and all I can think about is getting face fucked and doing cocaine. Not neccesarily together and not neccesarily in that order
Randomize
