So I went outside my house this morning and basically my entire front lawn is covered in gummi bears... I think that involves you guys.
i don't think my life will be extraordinarily more meaningful if i let him put his tongue in my butthole.
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
You two were too busy to notice that his used condom landed on me when he threw it.. Thanks.
know what the best part about malls are? standing on the upper level and boob gazing
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
Woke up this morning on my couch at 6am fully dressed including heels, holding half a corn dog. I called you last night when I was buying the corn dog from a street vendor, I think.
I am in love with you.
This is so pathetic it makes me miss snorting lines alone in my room listening to 'one more drink'.
IM A DRUNK BIRTHDAY CLEOPATRA MESS. CELEBRATE THAT BITCH
I took my exam the next day still drunk and failed, but I kno for a fact that I filled in the bubbles for my name perfectly
Tom is laying in a bathtub filled with ice pretending to be a polar bear.
There's times when I just want to bottle my farts for later they're so insane.
Just saw a girl I banged wearing a pro life shirt downtown. Not sure where to start with that.
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