So...i'm having a drinking contest, my right hand vs my left, i have a feeling the 24 pack is gonna win
she actually told me to ignore the cokeheads in the corner with knives.
Hypothetically, how much legal trouble do you think i will be in for stealing someone's dog?
I'll come out for a little. I can't be visibly hungover at work again or I get written up and fired. And yes, I am aware of how alcoholic that sounds.
Those titties aren't worth a lifetime of listening to her talk about gluten free yams and japanese manga.
bro, your right, i shouldn't feel embarrassed about taking shots from a penis-shaped ice sculpture
I know you're gay. But if I'm not getting dick, then you have to. That's what friends do.
Of the two of us, which one has licked a drag queen's tit in the past 5 days?
Yeah, I've hit on priests at bars, too. Such a shame, there are a lot of hot men out there who've devoted themselves and their glorious genitalia to the Lord -_-
He called me kiddo. We can't have sex
I always feel bad for the sober driver... Never been me but I feel bad... empathetic AF
OF COURSE I NEED TO KNOW I MUST KNOW EVERYTHING
YOU ARE NOT OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I AM OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I just took a picture of Austin's dick wearing a hat. Except its not a hat it's a DayQuil cap.
the orange of my hangover Tang is hurting my eyes... my coworkers knew it was hangover Tang too.
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
Randomize
