Are you dead
Yes
Oh man
Someone fed me too many chicken nuggets and sexed me too hard
hey call me
can't. in the shower.
... and this is probably why your phone does not work half the time.
sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
Also thongs make me have to fart a lot.
it looked like a condom graveyard when i woke up. they were everywhere
THC water in my coffee on the way to work. How's your Tuesday?
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
The number of injuries I get impersonating Shakira while drunk is getting ridiculous. Sprained vagina, dude.
how much ball-pain constitutes an emergency?
We have a vagina exchange agreement. Neither of us can hook up with any of our own law firm's summer associates. So we have a scout and referral program and invite each other to the other firm's summer events. Criss-cross!! Works every summer.
This is classic penis vs brain.
Good thing my vagina doesn't have a chronometer on it. I'm sure my fiance would be horrified. Probably 10 miles from this past weekend alone.
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
These rednecks don't fuck around. This party is completely BYOB and we now have 6 kegs, 3 of which have already been emptied.
You went home with a guy at 11... than returned to the bar at 1
Randomize
