the bulge in his pants is not junk. its hair. trust.
My itunes is telling me i listened to toxic by b spears 108 times last night
She forced me to throw up so it would "rejuvenate" me. It worked and then we took six more shots and did a keg stand. You know what I call that? Friendship.
I'm on strict orders from her to keep sleeping with you until you give her a job next summer.
I've decided the third guy that I slept with is who I lost my virginity to...
There r osticjed everywhere
at some point i feel off my bar stool straight into the arms of a gay guy. just my luck.
i think she just faxed a picture of her vag from the office copy machine... i mean what kind of sexting is that... wait is that even legal???
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
we were making out in my truck and while she was straddling me she informs me that she jerks off horses for a living. Should I be concerned or flattered?
After finding out he was married when we were together, I don't trust him.
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
Fun fact: I came home from the riverboat without my panties. And woke up with a different pair on.
I told the border patrol officer she was smuggling drugs in her ass. I doubt she cheats on me again.
Who fucking spams baby shark at a sports bar
Randomize
