he told me i looked like an animal then proceeded to kiss me
I think id rather eat ped egg shavings.
its preseason football. its like non alcoholic beer. who gives a fuck
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
Yeah someone just put a trash bag that says "use protection" on the snow penis
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
You told her that she shouldn't be allowed to wear clothes then when her roommate asked if you like her you said "no I just want to insert things into her"
I stand by it.
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
as your best friend, I hope we never outgrow 'I Just Got Laid' texts
Immediately after sex he layed on the floor and acted like my yellow bra was pac man
Fuck you. You were a total asshole last night.
We will get to that, but can anybody tell me whose fucking socks I am wearing?!
Day drunk. He was sitting in the back seat, opened the door, leaned out, and peed right there in the dutch bros drive through. No one even noticed haha
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
Randomize
