Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
The best revenge is premature balding
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
As soon as he lost the election, the reception's open bar became a cash bar. I have never been so disappointed in my countrymen.
The kid across the hall found me in the hallway using a hot pocket box as a pillow. I said its okay I live here.
Can we make a sex game out of monopoly somehow?
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
Hi. This might be awkward, but I met you on saturday at about 330 am. I have to admit I don't remember your name, what we talked about, or various details of how I got home. What I do remember is that I was invested enough in getting your number to ask my cab driver for a pen to write it down since my phone was dead. So do you want to meet, soberer, some time?
Hey bro I think you got the wrong number I'm a dude
I will blow you tomorrow if you bring me food tonight. Like a payment plan
There was a group of girls next to us. One was smiling at me. I only remember walking up and saying "oh you're Russian". Not sure where it went from there
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
You should make a checklist to ensure they are quality material. Here's mine: wearing shoes, not drunk, very hot, has teeth, speaks english. You never know
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
Was I drunk or did Alex not show up with 100 rainbow Jell-O shots?
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
Randomize
