ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
Friend I haven't seen in almost a year just IMed me to let me know that my mom stuck her boob out the window on the freeway at her.
Her mom responded by mooning my mother. I really don't know what's worse.
I have decided today is drunk costume day. That is, i woke up still drunk and found costumes all over my floor. Heck yes. This is happening. Come over. Drink.
Seriously he's so hot. And it's so hard to flirt with a deaf guy
I have had more skin than food in my mouth the last three days
They put paint on their hands and tried to see how many times they could touch me before I woke up.
Judging by this purple one they got to second base.
I gave them the 'I used to fuck your son' discount.
I've now spilled wine and got poptarts all over my cast. So much for my doc taking me seriously...
Come to my pity party. It's being hosted in my basement. The theme is ambiguously sexual cuddling and wine.
I gave a very stressed out cashier a mini bottle from my purse the day after Christmas. It's what Jesus would have done.
You're a good person. Sharing is caring.
Just remember that no one else gets to suck his dick but you, feel honored. It's like the Olympic torch of life is being passed off to you and it's your time to run
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
Randomize
