This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
When your really high you cant order into a clowns mouth
You broke a window with your face. I don't think the landlord will be as impressed as we were.
He made off the wall shots in beer pong, stuck the girls dog in a cooler, and played with swords with her mom. I wish I got his name
When I was with you my penis felt like a fat woman crammed into a pair of lulu lemons
I'm gonna win the lottery and buy chinchillas and tattoos for everyone
whose ass print is on the piano?
I beat my mom's friend's boyfriend in a vodka chugging competition. Our generation FTW.
I am too drunk to be out in this weather around all these animals.
Though I don't usually want to turn down ladies who want to liquify my clothing with their eyes, I made an exception.
His roommates are gone so we had sex in every room of the house and watched the wire. What have you done today?
Only you could go on vacation to visit family and hook up with a pro NFL player from Tinder
Do you want to go soon I'm overthinking life and my butthole again
I'm just down here gazing up into your ivory tower of nudes
I gave her the last ten dollars to my name and bitch comes back with a six pack of bud light and a pack of sour patch kids
Randomize
