i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
Life Lesson Number 76: Masturbating into a sock is useless if there is a hole in it.
He asked me how my body knew that a month was up when it was time for my period.
She's mad at me cuz I told her having a fuck buddy was too much commitment.
i dont think the girl sending me nudes is qualified to pass judgement on me
He told me about his girlfriends trust issues during our post sex spooning
i cant belive i got a ticket! i know what his dick tastes like!
My alcohol tolerance is way too high for this paycheck.
what's an appropriate "I'm fucking your grandson but I'm trying to hide it" outfit?
Congrats on having the best tasting nipple at the bar last night.
Three questions... How drunk were you? How long until we can make fun of you for this? Do you even really need a spleen?
its 2pm. u awake yet?
ill text u back later. still peeling fingernail polish off my face.
Oh. My. God. You texted my mom "IM BACK BITCHES!"
He shattered his pelvis base jumping so his dicks out of commission for 4 months. Your up, second string.
somehow I wound up on the floor crying about his beard. then telling everyone I'd give him a "lesbian blowjob".
If you find out what that means, show me.
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