fyi, take the long route to the library. the "can i be your baby daddy?" homeless man migrated back for winter
Um I just overheard that the new guy spent a month in jail. Obvi another great hire.
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
He was eating mac and cheese. Raw. Like as in he was eating the uncooked noodles then pouring the dry cheese in his mouth.
She straight up told me, "I don't care if he films as long as he's quiet." You sure you can't find the camera?
somehow he and i always have our deepest conversations after phone sex.
Some random at the bar just whispered in my ear that he wants to eat me out while on bath salts....
I gave him shit for taking my sloppy seconds and when I woke up my eyebrow was gone
Just so you know, if I get bored tomorrow I WILL pretend to get drunk in the bathroom and crash the whole thing
I've had more lap dances than hrs of sleep since Thursday, this is why you're planning all three of my bachelor parties
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
Woke up in a hotel room with some random guy then walked over a mile to the bus stop where I laid down and waited on the bus. GREAT NIGHT
Ya, It's probably because whenever I close my eyes I see a kitten playing a banjo.
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
The problem with adderall is that no matter what I'm doing, I feel like it was the most productive thing I've EVER done.
Did you alphabetize our spice cupboard again?
...You'll thank me later.
Randomize
