This girl is more easily done than said...
he spent the whole night trying to convince me into a2m. i won't even use the pb til i clean the jelly knife. i love him but it's not going to happen.
How the hell am I supposed to know what lotion to get her? They should have a dressing booth where I could go test how good it is for jerking off, then I'd know.
I think need to divide my DVD collection into "movies I've seen" and "movies I've only seen during sex"
I've created a drink called, "watching the sound of music with grandma." its straight vodka
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
sorry for allegedly lighting the beer pong balls of fire
What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
Until you wake up with a Hustler club stripper in the next room whose nipple you were coerced to lick at Snake & Jake's after breaking up a fight between an Indian and a Filipino, I don't wanna hear about your weird.
Beer pong consisted of me throwing a ball at the wall and then falling over because moving my arm made me dizzy. I think our team lost.
You're more than welcome to join us! There's red velvet cake and apparently my pants are open for business I didn't consent to this
There is nothing worse then the feeling after you've held in farts all night..
What's his name?
You tried crawling through the apartment window instead of going through the wide open door next to it
I just found out my younger brother has me saved in his contacts as "Womb Primer" and I don't know what to do with this information
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
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