i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
so i wake up and the chick who i had sex last night left her phone number. next to the number was a broken condom. should i call?
"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
i fucked a milf yesterday.
i'm not impressed, in this generation that could technically mean a 16 year old.
And the cops told us we were all naked.
all i remember is screaming butter knifes are for pussies.
Yes, but it's not new to me. It's like every time a new guy finds out I'm a squirter it's a novelty so they make me squirt and squirt and squirt until their bed is completely soaked. And then afterwards they complain that there isn't a dry bit to sleep on. No shit Sherlock.
That little tingle vodka gives me in my esphagus is what lets me know I'm still alive.
Batteries died. I don't care that you're studying for the bar. Come over. Bring the law books and study after. I'll even make coffee.
Since when do you jog?
Since hot shirtless guy that lives across the street jogs
Masturbating during the Olympics and cumming during the national anthem really is everything it's cracked up to be. Just thought you should know.
debating what would be more effort, turning on to my other side or trying to get myself off with my left hand. that kind of lazy day.
Yeah we were on bar number 7 on our bike trail and you decided to steal my bike and we found you 20 minutes later eating Cheetos in the shallow end of your parents pool
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