i hope you realize when i said "grib" earlier i was referring to the gridded binary, a mathematically concise data format commonly used in meteorology to store historical weather forecast data. also meant in referential conjunction to my probability math class that i am failing at roughly 215pm tomorrow afternoon.
U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
i want you to feel like i'm letting you into my heart, not just my vagina.
I woke up wearing a cow costume. I'm not even gonna try to recall what happened last night.
My warmest regards to the fish in that koi pond I puked in.
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
And tell the hostess not to worry, she's narcoleptic and fell asleep on the way to the bar, but she'll be fine in a few minutes.
She asked if I wanted to "Mormon Motorboat" her, which I guess is just motor-boating her through her cloths. Turns out I did.
Things in my bed this morning: a Waffle House hat, a finding nemo DVD, sharpies, my graduation robes and an adult diaper. Did we play drunk scavenger hunt again?
Are you ok?
They gave me a cat until I fall asleep. His name is fluffy because he's fluffy.
Just realized I chose a bacon cheeseburger over sex last night
I was going to say that I wasn't sure how that happened... but then I remembered that I bonded with the Australians over vitamins and INXS and they bought me tequila.
Have you ever forgotten how to pee? I did last night. Standing in front of the urinal with dick in hand. WTF were we drinking???
why the hell are you crying over taco bell?
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