like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
Mac n' cheese is coming out of my nose. You can't make that feel better
the spit in my mouth is still 99% not mine.
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
as of this morning I have officially vommed on the highways of 6 different countries. It's a proud moment.
Halfway through he got an idea for a short story so he wrote it in magic marker on my boobs. Yeah, he's a keeper.
Someone came in the potted fern
Like seriously how stupid drunk do you have to get befor you start finding dolphin lighters and shit in your undergarments
I have just received a gold-medal-deserving sext. He wrote me a fucking novel. Not only am I incredibly turned on but I am beyond impressed. He is the sext god. I must bow to him.
I just spent 100$ at a sex shop to make myself feel better. And I signed you up to win 200$ so if you win, it's mine. And yes I'm serious.
i just sneezed the second i jizzed and it got in my eye. words can't describe how much i hate life right now.
the girls would appreciate it if you invited over some drunk, single, straight men with low standards.
At one point did I say I have a doctorate in fuck u?
Guy peeing and puking at the same time in the women's restroom? So impressed that I can't be offended
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