don't wear any deodorant. we have to do everything we can to sabotage this wedding
WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
I'll just tell her I'm here with you picking out a buttplug for her to say "I'm sorry".
You kept saying,"there's a seahorse in my stomach, who's trying escape". This was after the curtains attacked you.
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
I woke up without my clothes on covered up with a towel on the floor because for some reason I took a bath in my clothes at 2am.
I just instagramed a picture of an ostrich in case you were wondering what I did with my night
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
So are we just not going to talk about the time I came home to you jerking it in the kitchen?
we're spending all day in bed drinking spiked eggnog and fucking
I hope none of us try to run for public office one day
the moment when you open a dick pic with your mom in the car... On your moms phone... Of your dad... Scarred for life
Like your dick isn't Beyoncé, it doesn't get close ups
Who knew sons of strippers would be really feminist boyfriends?
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