btw, your gf is going to want to talk to you today...and consequently you're probably not going to want to talk to me...just a heads up
theyre doing shots to celebrate her boob jobs anniversary.
at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
I had a dream once that juice was flowing out of my kitchen faucet
dude.. you lit a cigarette on the bus and told the driver it was okay because you were fire marshall of your boy scout troop
just woke up with a thong on my face, dont remember going home with anyone and its way too big for it to be a good thing
why is allison so mad at me??
me and her walked into dans and you yelled "hello my dear alli, you're looking mighty overweight today!".
crap..
i just went to use the bathroom this morning and I couldn't because there was someone puking in every stall. i'm going to miss the dorms this summer
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
just run out there and shit all over the driveway when he comes.. and then point at him
people in the room actually applauded when we discovered you had the ability to somehow throw up on your own back
I'm pretty sure I did the Macarena with a gay guy while shot gunning a beer
This isn't just a hangover. I can feel the blood moving through my veins, and it hurts.
Now all I want to do is stay up, drink wine, and look at dragons.
I really would enjoy sexual intercourse with you.
Most formal booty call EVER
Randomize
